What is Commitment?
When we say - "I am committed to fitness", we are saying that -
We are channelizing our energies and efforts into getting fit.
That's what commitment means.
You can replace fitness with a relationship and still the meaning of "commitment" remains the same. You can replace relationships with say reskilling/upskilling and the meaning of commitment still remains the same.
Our lives are enriched by our family, the people we work with, our personal goals, our experiences and so we are committed to multiple things at any point in time.
The issue is, we tend to falter in many commitments. It happens to all of us all the time.
And this puzzled me.
I started to think if there is something that can be done so that once we are committed to something, we stick to it. The number of failed commitments is minimized.
The answer that I came up with is this post.
Why do we fail in our commitments?
In simple words, we quit or we miss our commitments because we do not have enough motivation to continue.
And the reasons for the dwindled motivation level could be many.
So, the journey of understanding commitment is basically a journey to understand the variables that impact Motivation.
I feel Commitment or the motivation required to stay committed is an outcome of the amalgamation of 3 following human traits
- Conviction
- Acceptance
- Intention
The role of Conviction in Commitment
As per the dictionary, the meaning of conviction is - a firmly held belief or opinion.
And that's what it is :)
In our case, if we are fully convinced about the action that we are taking, we have increased our chances our being committed to the task. And to be fully convinced, the action has to touch our core beliefs and values.
For example, when you commit yourself to fitness,
is it because you are fully convinced about the benefits of being fit? Or
is it because everybody around you is talking about fitness and so you jumped in too?
Starting something by getting inspired by others are absolutely fine, but then it should be converted into your own firm belief in fitness. Else, there is a high probability that you will quit the fitness program as you lack the motivation required to follow the disciplined diet and workout regime.
Motivation is the outcome of your conviction about the action you are taking.
How Acceptance impact Commitment?
When we take an action, there is for sure an outcome. The outcome that we anticipate, the outcome that we expect is our Goal.
But then, the outcome might not be what you expected.
And how you manage this situation is the test of your commitment.
When the outcomes are not favorable or to state more dramatically when our goals are shattered, how do we accept it is the question?
Do we see it as a temporary setback, learn from it, and thus improve our skills and beliefs?Or
do we see it as a grave mistake and decide not to try something of this sort again?
How do we accept the setback is what decides if the setback will help us learn and strengthen our commitment or will it push us into a shell and thus make us quit.
Continuing our fitness example, let us say you have thought that by working out and the following the diet, you will lose XYZ kilos in 3 months. And, that did not happen :(
Do you quit the fitness program thinking you will not be able to lose weight?
or
say you take a break (if needed), consult experts and get into action again. And Stay committed to the fitness goal.
There is no right or wrong here. What you feel is right is right and what you feel is wrong is wrong.
How Intention impacts commitment
The intention is a more subtle and often ignored aspects of the commitment.
Intention could be considered a part of the conviction, but it has a huge impact on commitment and so we are talking about it separately.
Intention is basically the reason behind the action that you are committed to.
In our example, the fundamental question is why did you join the fitness program, is it because you want to get fit or is it because you are trying to outsmart a friend/peer/sibling of yours.
The question looks similar to the once we discussed in the "Conviction" part. But there is a subtle difference. Here, the focus is to decipher the reason behind your conviction.
Again, there is no right or wrong here. Every reason is a reason and your reasons are right for you.
We are talking about intentions because when the going gets tough, the intention is what will provide the necessary motivation.
If the intention was just to outsmart somebody or it was FOMO, then tough situations will get better of you. But if the intention is pure, you will manage to have the motivation to sail through difficult times.
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Summary
- By focussing on conviction, you are clear about the reasons for your commitment.
- By focussing on acceptance, you are preparing yourself to handle the unexpected situation and you ensure your motivation doesn't take a nosedive
- By focussing on the intention, you are double-checking on the reasons for your commitment.
In short, we are creating a virtual loop such that the motivation levels are not impacted and thus our probability of staying committed is increased.
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